I stopped by on my way out of town in the morning to drop off a few things at which point she wasn't doing great, but was fairly stable. As I came back into town later that afternoon, I called her to see how she was doing and she reported that she had had a really difficult afternoon. She had not eaten all day, was feeling very dehydrated, and her breathing was worsening. The silver lining was that she was taken care of by an angel of a nurse. Nurse Michelle - my mother's week end angel who came to her at the perfect time. Michelle talked mom through her crisis, visualized with her, and spoke of the Chacras. She spent a lot of time by mom's bedside on Saturday and was on shift again Sunday. There could not have been a better person to come to her aid at this low time. For this my mother is extremely grateful, as am I.
Mom has been hooked back up to IV fluids and still is to this moment. This has been helpful. She has also come to a time where she is needing to withdraw from people around her, even more so than before, to focus only on herself, her breathing, her comfort, and her healing. Yesterday, Sunday, I spoke with her but 5 minutes. Ken visited with her in the evening, but as you can see she spent very little time with people other than the nurses this past week end. I believe this is what she was feeling a need for. She is very good at listening to her body. We were told by the radiation therapist last Tuesday that things would likely get worse before they got better, including her breathing. Let's hope that this is why she is having such a rough go of it these days.
On the flip side, this morning she woke up lying on her right side. She has not been able to sleep on her right side for over a month now as it is the right side of her body/chest where the tumor in her lungs is in. She reported having had the best night's sleep since being in the hospital. The palliative care nurses that came in today also said that it sounds as though there is more air moving through her lungs when they listen. I'm not sure how accurate they can be with this, but we'll take any positive sign we can take.
As of yesterday, Julia has been back in town. She spent quite a bit of time with mom today and accompanied her to the last of her scheduled radiation treatments.
Today was probably the most difficult day for mom thus far. Her breathing is significantly more difficult to the point that it has changed her voice. She needs to conserve every bit of energy she possibly has. Julia came home for dinner at around 6 PM after spending about 7 hours with her. Throughout the day she had a few panic attacks, mostly related to her difficulties with breathing. She went for her last radiation treatment on her lungs and had a panic attack just before going in for the treatment. The nurses, gentle as they are, managed to calm her enough for her treatment. After dinner, we went to the hospital together and spent another 1.5 hours with her. We just wanted to check in on her, but she wasn't sleeping and was grateful for our presence and the help in getting settled before bed.
Tomorrow she has a follow up with the oncologist. Julia & I will both be with her to hear what he has to say about her next steps and how she is reacting to this first bout of radiation. Originally the plan was to start radiation on her neck tomorrow, but I am not sure that she will be strong enough for it.
The nurses are also now giving her morphine for her pain (mostly in the form of a headache). This has lead to some loopy discussions and some confusion on mom's part.
I wish I could be the bearer of better news, but today and the past couple have days have been the worse for her yet. Here's hoping that it truly is the "worse before the better".
Please continue to send as many healing vibes as you can. She can use every bit she can get!
I apologize if this posting seems a bit disjointed. I'm trying to keep the details straight and provide decent updates without writing too much.
Ileana
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